Children’s Extracurricular Activities – who pays for what?

Posted on March 31, 2017 by Kristen Anders Bojarski

Spring is finally here and we have so much to look forward to: warmer weather, a few days off from school, blooming tulips, and Spring-season extracurricular activities! Growing up, my sisters and I weren’t in a lot of extracurricular activities. They were expensive, and my parents worked; they didn’t have the time or the energy to cart us around to various places in the evenings and on weekends. Of course, if we could find a ride and a way to pay for it, we were pretty much given the freedom to join whatever we wanted. We did get pretty involved in the high school marching band when we were older; we could do our own fundraising then and we had part-time jobs to help cover the cost. Plus, we eventually were able to drive ourselves to practice and football games or get a ride with friends.

It wasn’t until I started practicing family law that I realized that my experience with extracurricular activities is not necessarily typical. Either that, or things have really changed over the years. I was surprised at the number of cases I come across where the children are involved in multiple and/or very expensive extracurricular activities.

Despite the benefits that extracurricular activities might have on a child’s development and educational career, they can be a source of conflict for families. For many, the issue is the cost. Some children are involved in numerous activities throughout the year, the monthly cost of which is equivalent or more to what one might pay for a car payment. Some children participate in camps or competitive/traveling sports which can cost several thousands of dollars each year.

Managing to pay for expensive extracurricular activities can cause conflict between an intact family; one can imagine the issues that come up when parents are separated. The question I’m often asked is how does the cost of these activities get divided now that the parents are separated and money is more scarce.

Extracurricular activities are a part of child support, and they are generally addressed at the time the child support order is established. The cost of the activities are apportioned between the parties according to the percentage allocation of their combined net incomes. In other words, if the child support payor earns 60% of the parties’ combined net incomes, then he or she will pay for 60% of the cost of the extracurricular activity. The payor’s portion of the extracurricular activity may be added into the monthly support obligation, or the parties may each pay their share to the organization. The court only allocates the cost of monthly dues, enrollment fees, etc.; smaller expenses for things like socks or cleats are generally considered a part of the monthly child support obligation.

For the court to include extracurricular activities in the child support order, they generally have to have been agreed upon by both parties, but consent cannot be unreasonably withheld. For instance, if little Susan has been in dance the last 4 years, and dad signs her up for the new season as per the status quo, chances are that the court will allocate the cost for the dance between the parties even if mom suddenly and inexplicably doesn’t agree to the child participating in this activity. On the other hand, if dad signs little Susan up for a special two-week dance training camp in Toronto that costs thousands of dollars without mom’s permission, then the court will likely attribute that cost solely to dad.

In some cases, parents agreed to the children(ren) participating in certain extracurricular activities when their marriage was intact, but one of them says that they cannot afford to pay now that they are separated and living on one income. In those cases, the court will take into consideration the cost of the activity in conjunction with the income of the parties to determine whether the cost is reasonable, and whether to allocate any of the cost to the objecting party. This is pretty discretionary.

Some are unpleasantly surprised when the court finds the cost of the activities that were once agreed-upon are unreasonable.

So talk to your lawyer about extracurricular activity expenses when preparing for your child support court date. If possible, talk to your former spouse about it as well. If the cost is excessive and more than what you feel you can pay, maybe you will be able to reach an understanding. Maybe your spouse would be willing to cover a higher portion of the cost, or maybe you should cut back on the activities altogether until your child is old enough to help contribute to the cost.

Child Support Conferences and Hearings – No Place for Amateurs!

Posted on March 10, 2017 by Kristen Anders Bojarski

You have just received a notice and order that your spouse, former spouse, or other parent has filed a complaint for child or spousal support or Alimony Pendente Lite (APL – spousal support pending a divorce), and that you must appear in court for a conference/hearing. This notice gives you a date, time, and place to appear, and a list of documents you must bring to the conference/hearing.

In Allegheny County, both parties first attend a conference before a Domestic Relations Officer (DRO), who uses a computer program to generate a guideline monthly support number based on incomes and other information provided by the parties. The parties are encouraged to reach an agreement, which will then be typed up into a consent order for support and signed by the parties. If the parties don’t reach an agreement, they proceed straight to a hearing that day.

In other counties, like Washington and Westmoreland, if you don’t reach an agreement at the conference, you go home. The DRO issues a recommendation for an order (which goes into effect immediately), and if either party is dissatisfied, they can request a “de novo” hearing (an evidentiary hearing before the hearing officer) which is scheduled at a later date. Sounds like cake, right? You can do this yourself without having to pay a lawyer, right?

Not so fast. The majority of support cases in PA are resolved at the DRO level. Although not all parties consent to the guideline amount of support that the DRO comes up with, many do or at least use the guideline number as a starting point to negotiate. For this reason, it is very important to have a good idea of what the guideline “number” is before the conference.

To prepare for a DRO conference, I always meet with my client ahead of time, have them bring with them all of the documents required by the order, and analyze the facts of the case, my client’s income and the other party’s income if it is available to me, and then run various guideline scenarios on a special computer program designed for that purpose, depending on the facts of that particular case. Although what you can “afford” is not relevant to the amount of the order (many support payers are surprised by this), there are special facts and “deviations” which could affect the amount of the final order.

It is always surprising to me to see how many attorneys show up at a DRO conference without having prepared their own guideline calculations ahead of time. This lack of preparation is a real disservice to the client, and was described at a CLE (continuing legal education) course I recently attended as “malpractice.”

DRO’s are generally very good at what they do, but they are not attorneys. In counties like Allegheny, it is not for a DRO to know or tell the parties when a deviation is appropriate. Plus, DRO’s are human; they sometimes make mistakes. It is very easy for a DRO to mistakenly calculate the guideline monthly support amount as though one party has primary custody of the children, when the parties really have some sort of shared custody arrangement. I’ve also had DRO’s mistakenly input a party’s weekly income as monthly income. It’s easy to imagine how a mistake like this could greatly impact the guideline number that is generated. If you are prepared and have an idea of what the guideline number should be, it is easy to catch a mistake by comparing numbers with the DRO’s.

If the attorney has not prepared their own calculations ahead of time, how can they possibly know if the DRO made a mistake? They don’t know, and as a result, they allow their clients to agree to support orders that can be terribly unfair. Some errors go unnoticed for years, if they are ever caught at all. Everyone knows someone who complains they are paying too much or receiving too little in child support. If they didn’t use an attorney experienced in support issues, maybe their order is incorrect.

If you have a support proceeding coming up, insist that you meet with your attorney ahead of time, so that they can go over the documents with you, prepare a guideline calculation, and then determine if some deviation or special circumstance may apply in your case. If your attorney doesn’t do this, find another attorney.

On the other hand, if you already have a support order established, and it was entered at the DRO level without any preparation beforehand, I strongly encourage you to meet with an attorney to determine if the amount was appropriate considering your circumstances.

Sure, you are entitled to represent yourself, or get your neighbor’s friend who is a real estate attorney to represent you at a support conference/hearing. I wouldn’t fix a broken leg by myself or go to an eye doctor for it. Better to prepare properly rather than trying to fix something wrong later. Sometimes we are unable to fix your mistakes, and you may end up paying a steep price for a bad decision.

An Open Letter to Adult Children of Divorcing Parents

Posted on March 8, 2017 by Kristen Anders Bojarski

Dear Adult Children of Divorcing Parents:

So your parents are going through a divorce. Seems odd, right? We tend to think of divorce like a sickness we acquaint with childhood, such as chickenpox. If this was destined to happen, your parents should have gotten it over with in your early childhood years, right? Actually, it is not uncommon for people who are in their later years of life with adult children to decide to get divorced. There are a lot of reasons for this phenomenon. Some people choose to wait until their children are grown, some grow apart over the years, some “cheat” on the other, or maybe they just fall out of love and are tired of going through the motions. Sometimes one parent who has been bullied and belittled (and sometimes abused) by the other during the marriage gets counseling and gets up the nerve to go.

No matter what the reason your parents are splitting up, we have two words for you: Butt out!

However, once you establish an adult relationship with your parents, you will find that adult relationships are not that simple. Some things which appear to be entirely the fault of one parent come into focus as more of a shared issue. You may come to realize that you are identifying with the bullying parent and have disdain for the bullied parent, which you have been experiencing all of your life. Let me give you a clue: if one parent comes crying to you for support and to get yet on “their side” in the divorce litigation – Run! You are a child of both parents; if that parent needs someone to talk to, they should get professional help. Unloading their anxieties and frustrations of the marriage or the divorce litigation on their children is very unhealthy, both for the parent and the child.

We are always concerned when adult children get involved in the divorce litigation to support one parent or punish the other. (In fact, this unfortunately happens with non-adult children. If you see a parent unloading on an at-home, minor sibling, step in and tell the parent to stop, and counsel the sibling to stay out of the middle.) We find that adult children who side with one parent sometimes attempt to “guilt” the rejected parent into accepting an unfair settlement. It is not for the children to judge or to try to get one parent to take less or “walk away.” Do you plan to care for the parent who gets less than they are entitled to in the divorce settlement, when they are old and sick and don’t have enough money to support themselves?

If you are an adult child and have concerns about what is happening in a divorce between your parents, ask the parent you are concerned about to schedule an appointment with you and their lawyer to discuss your concerns. If that parent doesn’t have a lawyer, suggest that they get one. There is no need for a divorce to be ugly. If both parents are willing to be civil, then both parents should know their rights under the law. Their settlement should be fair to both of them.

Once your parent is represented by a competent lawyer and knows their rights, step back. You – and your parents – will have the rest of your lives to pick up the pieces and begin a different relationship. You, your parents and your siblings will be all the better for having taken this advice.

A Lesson About Honesty

Posted on March 3, 2017 by Kristen Anders Bojarski

Yesterday, Attorney General Jeff Sessions recused himself from any investigations into Russia’s alleged interference in the 2016 U.S. presidential election after it was discovered that he failed to disclose two meetings he had with the Russian ambassador during the campaign at his senate confirmation hearing. Sessions maintains that he didn’t intend to mislead the committee, and promised to issue a statement clarifying his testimony. President Trump stated on his Facebook page that while Sessions’ responses could have been more accurate, it was clearly not intentional.

As one who spends a lot of time preparing witnesses for trial, I find it hard to believe that Sessions did not intentionally omit this information. Russian interference in the election is a hot button issue – Sessions and his lawyers had to have expected that he would be asked questions about his ties with Russia, and thus prepared to answer those questions. By not disclosing the information, Sessions made a terrible mistake that will likely haunt him, and the President, for years to come. Let this be an important lesson to all of us: always be honest.

In almost every Family Law case that I handle, one or both parties have behaved badly at one point. We are human after all. When we are hurt, we want to get revenge. When we are angry, we lash out. Some of us even have skeletons in the closet. Sometimes a party has an asset or a source of income they want to hide.

I always instruct my clients to tell the truth. Don’t lie about your income, and disclose everything. If you did something bad, be honest about it. The bad stuff always comes out eventually, so disclose it on your own terms and not opposing counsel’s. You and your lawyer can come up with a strategy for disclosing the information in a way that will have as little impact as possible on your case.

I can guarantee that the extra source of income or bad behavior will have less of an impact on your case than lying will. If you are caught lying in court, you will lose all credibility with the judge on your case, and there may be other consequences, such as having to pay the other side’s attorney fees as sanctions, or in severe cases, imprisonment.

Sessions should have been upfront with the committee. Maybe they were totally innocent meetings and he did nothing wrong. But because Sessions chose not to disclose the meetings, he now looks like he was trying to hide something, and thus loses credibility. Issuing a clarifying statement after the fact will not restore Sessions’ reputation. The damage has been done.

So let this be a lesson to you: always be honest.

My Spouse Left Me – Now What Do I Do?

Posted on February 22, 2017 by Kristen Anders Bojarski

I recently wrote an article that offered some guidance for the financially dependent spouse who wants to get out of an unhappy marriage. I talked about taking money out of the joint bank account, taking the kids, and filing for support. But what do you do when you are on the other side of that scenario?

We’ve all heard this story. It has happened to someone we know, an old friend or maybe a distant relative. It goes like this: Some poor, unsuspecting chump gets up in the morning, kisses his wife and kids’ goodbye then goes off to spend the next 8 hours or so at his job like he does every other day. But when he walks into his house at the end of that long hard day, he finds that the house is eerily empty and quiet. The furniture is gone. The wife and kids are nowhere to be seen. Even the cat is gone. He instantly feels panicked and fears the worst. Were they robbed? Where was his family? He runs upstairs to check the bedrooms. The children’s rooms are mostly empty of furniture, clothes and toys. That’s odd. Why would a burglar take some dirty old kids clothes? He runs into the master bedroom. His wife’s clothes are gone, but his are still there hanging in the closet. The bed is gone but his dresser remains. With a sinking feeling, he walks into the bathroom off the master bedroom. His wife’s things are missing. Not even a toothbrush is left. But his toothbrush is right where he left it that morning along with his other belongings. At this point, the truth hits him like a crushing blow. It is worse than being robbed. His wife left him and she took the kids.

But why? He thought they were happy. They had some troubles, sure, but so does every married couple. How could she do this to him? The kids? This can’t be happening! The next thing he knows, some big guy who looks like a cop is knocking at the door to serve him with a complaint in divorce and an order scheduling a hearing on child support and APL/spousal support.

Talk about your worst nightmare. Unfortunately, I see this scenario happen every day. When it does, it is often a complete shock. This is something that only happens to other people, right? Whether you genuinely believed your spouse was happy, or failed to see the signs that now seem so obvious in hindsight, it has happened to you. Now what?

First, set up a meeting with a divorce lawyer. Ask friends and family for a referral. Next, do a little damage control and prevention. Change the locks to the house. You don’t want your spouse coming back to the house when you are not there to take what little furniture you may have left or rifle through the legal documents your lawyer sends you. If her name is on the deed, she is legally allowed to access the house, but changing the locks is often a good deterrent.

If you have joint bank accounts, close them. Especially if your paychecks are being deposited into them. Close all credit cards on which your spouse is an authorized user, even if it means you must agree to pay the balance. Change all passwords to all password-protected accounts. This includes, but is not limited to, your Apple or other phone accounts, emails, bills, online banking accounts, passcodes to all devices, etc.

Next, get your papers in order and prepare for the meeting with your lawyer. Your lawyer will need to see tax returns and other pay information, statements on retirement accounts, investment accounts, etc. If you were not the one in the marriage who handled the finances, now is the time to educate yourself on these matters.

When you have your initial meeting with the lawyer, talk to him or her about custody. When your children are used to seeing you every day, it is extremely important to maintain regular contact. Did your spouse take the children out of state, or move so far that it will prevent your ability to exercise your custody rights? If so, your lawyer will need to immediately seek special relief from the court. If not, you will want to file a complaint for custody in the county the children have lived in within the last 6 months. Most counties in PA have a long and drawn out custody process.

In Allegheny County, we have the Generations Program which requires both parents (and children if they are old enough) to attend an Education session, then a Mediation session. Mediation is scheduled 4-6 weeks after the initial custody complaint is filed. If an agreement isn’t reached at mediation, then the parties attend a Generations Conciliation which is scheduled 4-6 weeks later. If no agreement is reached there, then in another 4-6 weeks, another conciliation takes place, this time with the judge. After that, another conciliation might be scheduled, but eventually the last stop is a custody trial. The courts force people to go through these steps because they want parents to make their own decisions about their own kids, and it is very traumatic for parties and children to go through a custody trial. Some cases are not possible to settle (Is your spouse a narcissist? If so, you may as well schedule a trial date), but most cases settle at some point during the process. If your case ultimately goes to trial, expect it to take about a year for your custody case to be finalized from start to finish. If you ultimately settle at a conciliation, it will still take months. Since it will likely take a long time to get a final custody order, ask the court for an interim (temporary) custody order.

If you do not have an agreement or interim custody order that enables the children to see you on a regular, if not equal basis, then a status quo custody situation is created. Judges love to keep the status quo intact when the kids seem to be doing OK. It’s safe. Make sure that you are part of the status quo.

Finally, make sure you are taking care of yourself. You’ve just gone through a terrible shock. You likely feel stressed, depressed and anxious about the future. Don’t worry. You can (and will) get through it if you help yourself. Eat healthy and exercise. Try to get the appropriate amount of sleep. Don’t hesitate to get into counseling if needed. Do whatever you have to do to get your mind right. You are going to be making decisions about your children, finances, etc. that will affect you for years to come. You must be able to make these decisions based on logic rather than emotion.

Your wife, furniture and cat might be gone forever, but if you follow these steps, you are on your way to maintaining a loving relationship with your children and protecting your assets. This does not have to the tragic end to your story. In fact, it is not the end of your story at all.

It is a new beginning.

How to Take Those First Steps Towards Leaving an Unhappy Marriage

Posted on January 16, 2017 by Kristen Anders Bojarski

It is January, which is affectionately known by family law lawyers as divorce season. More than any other month, internet search engines experience a surge of people searching for information relating to divorce. Divorce is a life changing and often traumatic event in one’s life; the very thought of leaving behind the life you’ve known can be overwhelming. How are you supposed to make a decision that will substantially impact you, your spouse, children and even extended family members without first consulting the internet? As a compulsive googler myself, I understand the lure of a free and anonymous internet search, especially when you are desperate for answers about something. But I can tell you that the internet does not have all of the answers you need to make informed decisions. Only an experienced and capable family law lawyer can do that after meeting with you and learning the facts of your unique circumstances.

When I first meet with a client who is considering leaving an unhappy marriage, they often don’t know where to start for fear of unknown consequences. This is especially true of the financially dependent spouse. They don’t know if they can afford to go out on their own, especially with young children. They fear giving up their rights, or financial or custody-related retaliation by their spouse. When I’m feeling overwhelmed, nothing eases my anxiety better than coming up with a well-thought out plan to attack the problems I’m facing, and that is what I help my clients do. If you are in an unhappy marriage, but have no idea where to start, this quick and general guide to taking those first steps is for you:

Divorce – to file or not to file? In some cases, however, it does make sense to file for divorce right away. It depends on the circumstances. Make sure to talk to your lawyer about your options.

When I meet with a client for the first time, one of the first things I decide is whether to file for divorce right away. For a financially dependent spouse, it is generally better not to file for divorce right away, and this can be for several reasons. For instance, once you are divorced, you cannot be covered under your spouse’s health insurance any longer. Finding affordable healthcare, even through employment, is a common problem. In those cases, if makes sense to delay the divorce for as long as possible to keep health insurance coverage.

Money – If you are not working outside of the home, do you have education or skills that will enable you to get a self-supporting job? If not, will child and spousal support (if applicable) be enough for you to live on, maybe with a part or full-time minimum wage job, on a temporary basis? Come up with a budget and stick with it as best you can. If you do not have the skills or education to support yourself, now is the time to come up with a plan to become self-supporting. Child support doesn’t last forever, and alimony usually doesn’t either. Think about what you are interested in. Look into the programs offered at the local community college. See what job training is available in your area, or even look into that graduate program you put on the backburner to start a family.The next thing I talk to my clients about is their income situation. If you want to leave your marriage, you must first take a long and hard look at your finances as this will determine where you (and your children if you have any) will be able to live when you and your spouse separate. Do you want to stay in the marital residence? Can you afford the mortgage, taxes, insurances, rent, etc. based on what you earn? If not, will you be able to afford to live in the house, with spousal and child support (if you are entitled to receive them) to supplement your income or lack thereof? In many cases, both incomes of the parties are needed to make the monthly mortgage payment.

Decide where to live – If remaining in the marital residence is not an option, either financially or legally, you should strongly consider staying with family or friends. Moving out of the marital residence does not mean you give up your legal rights to the marital residence. Whether you live there or not, you still have an interest in the property meaning any equity will be distributed in some way once the marital assets are divided later on through the divorce process. This is a question I get asked all of the time.

The children’s school district is also a major factor to take into consideration for most cases where shared custody is going to be an issue. If you can’t afford to live anywhere else but with family, and your family lives so far away that it would be difficult for your spouse to exercise custody rights, do not make any moves without consulting a lawyer first.

Once I help my client analyze their income and budget, I help them decide where they should live. Once you’ve done the same analysis, can you afford to reside in the marital residence? If so, is your spouse willing to leave? If not and the deed to the house is in both names, you can’t just kick your spouse out. There are ways to gain exclusive possession of the marital residence (a topic for another day), but it is usually easier and cheaper to move out of the marital residence yourself.

The move If this is not an amicable separation, or domestic violence is an issue, then I suggest moving out without telling the other spouse. You should still schedule the moving date, and have people to help you, but wait to move until your spouse is at work or out of town. Take whatever furniture, household goods, Christmas decorations, heirlooms, etc. that is important to you and/or will be necessary to set up a new home for yourself and/or your children. You may feel guilty pulling a surprise move like this, but if it will avoid a major conflict, or someone getting hurt, it’s worth it. If reaching an amicable custody agreement is not possible, and you are the primary caretaker of the children, take them with you when you leave.

This may induce your spouse to file a complaint for custody, but don’t be alarmed by that. If that happens, the courts won’t automatically hand your children over to your spouse, assuming that the children are not in danger in your custody. It just means that you and your spouse will go through the court process to establish a custody order, whether by agreement or court order, that is hopefully best for your children.

Once you figured out your finances, and have decided where you are going to live, the next step is to plan the move. Schedule a move-in date and enlist family and friends to help you. Is this an amicable, mutually-agreed upon separation? If so, try to reach an agreement with your spouse ahead of time as far as how the furniture and household goods are going to be divided. If you have children, it would be ideal if you and your spouse could come up with a custody arrangement prior to moving.

File for child and spousal support Right before you move out of the marital residence, see if you can withdraw funds from joint bank accounts, CD’s investments, etc. Don’t feel bad about it; you have to support yourself, you are entitled to joint funds; besides, and any funds you take will just be considered as an advance to you later. While anyone can file a complaint for support at the Domestic Relations Section of the court in their county, you should not go to the support conference/hearing alone. Hire an attorney to represent you.

Immediately after you move out of the house, file for child and spousal support if you are entitled to it. In Allegheny and Washington counties of PA where I practice, it generally takes 4-6 weeks after a complaint in support is filed for a support conference/hearing to be scheduled, and then up to another 30 days after the court date for the wage attachment to take effect. For that reason, plan to not have any support monies for about 2 months.

Help your childrenIf your children are struggling, seek counseling for them or reach out to the guidance counselor at school for support. Be patient. While the adjustment to their changed lives may take some time, it’s worth it for the children to come home from school to a happy, tension-free home each day.

Once you separate from your spouse, help your children with the transition. Talk to your children, help them understand what is happening and encourage them to confide in you about their feelings. Never speak badly about your spouse to the children; it will make them feel awful. Instead, assure them that they are loved by both parents and that the separation is not their fault. It is true that children are resilient, but the transition will be a lot easier for them if their parents can be civil.

Decisions on when to file for divorce (if you and your attorney decide to wait), how to split assets/debts, permanent custody arrangements, etc., will come later. For now, I hope this general guide helps you to come up with a sound, logical plan towards making that huge decision to leave an unhappy marriage. When you are ready, or you are feeling overwhelmed, meet with a family law attorney. He or she will help you come up with a plan so that you can be prepared to take those first steps.

Child Support Contempt Proceedings

Posted on June 15, 2015 by Kristen Anders Bojarski

In a previous blog post we discussed what to do when you find yourself thrown into contempt proceedings for failing to pay child support due to an unexpected loss of income, and how to defend against it by filing a petition for modification. But what can you do to avoid even the possibility of being swept into the nightmare that is contempt proceedings? The answer is obvious: pay your child support as ordered.

In some cases where a child support obligor has lost his or her job, they have some savings to fall back on or friends and family willing to help out financially until they get back on their feet. If you are one of these people, you should still immediately file for modification of child support, but continue to pay the full support amount as ordered until you have your support conference/hearing. If you do that, you will at least avoid contempt, and eventually get back any money you might have overpaid.

Except in some limited circumstances, child support is always wage attached, i.e., the employer deducts it right out of your paycheck and sends it to Pennsylvania State Collection and Disbursement Unit, or PASCDU, who then distributes it to the obligee. When you no longer have an employer to take care of this for you, it is your responsibility to make sure your child support gets to PASCDU on time. One major mistake people often make is paying the obligee directly by cash or check. DO NOT DO THIS! If you pay the obligee directly, then Domestic Relations in your county will have no idea that the support was paid. Not only will you not get credit for the support you paid, Domestic Relations will begin contempt proceedings against you if their system shows that you are behind more than 30 days. You must send child support payments to PASCDU!

I had a case recently where I represented the Father in child support and other proceedings. For several reasons, the child support hearing did not take place until about 6 months after Mother filed. Although we had a temporary order in place in between that time, and Father’s wages were eventually attached, for many of those months he had to make direct payments to Mother. When we finally had the hearing and sought credit for the direct payments (about $5,000 worth), Mother claimed that Father never gave her the payments at all, and that the copies of the checks and money orders he produced were fake. Even after we eventually proved that Father did make the payments, Mother continued to refuse to give Father credit for them. Mother’s attorney was eventually able to get Mother to agree to give Father credit for the payments, but it cost him a lot of time, attorney fees and stress. It was certainly a lesson to him, and me as well.

So, if your child support is not wage attached for whatever reason, you must send your payments directly to PASCDU. Below is the direct link to the PASCDU website with instructions on how to make payments and where to send them:

https://www.humanservices.state.pa.us/csws/CSWS_controller.aspx?pageId=Member/payor_payment_options.ascx

What happens when you lose your job and can no longer afford your child support order

Posted on April 11, 2014 by Kristen Anders Bojarski

Lately I have been seeing and hearing about a lot of cases where a parent who pays child support has a sudden loss of income due to an involuntary termination, job lay off, cannot work because of a medical issue, etc., and as a result, is unable to afford their monthly child support obligation. Some of these people believe that if they are not bringing any income in, then they don’t have to pay their child support obligation and then just stop paying. These people are then shocked when they receive papers in the mail ordering them to appear in court for a contempt proceeding for failure to pay child support. How can they be in trouble for not paying child support when they no longer have the income to pay it, right? Wrong!

If you stop paying child support per the terms of your child support order, domestic relations of your county will automatically begin contempt proceedings against you. The first step is usually to order you to appear at a contempt conference/hearing where you have to show why you shouldn’t be held in contempt of your child support order.

Once this first contempt proceeding is scheduled, people often believe that they just have to appear at the proceeding, show that their income was reduced, and the court will reduce/terminate their child support obligation and drop the contempt. Unfortunately, those people would be wrong again. The contempt proceedings are generally about the contempt only. Even if it is clear that your income has been reduced, the conference officer who is handling the contempt proceeding will not reduce your child support at that time; they will only address the contempt issue. Since you failed to pay the support as ordered, you could be found in contempt and ordered to purge yourself of contempt by continuing to pay the full support order, making a lump sum payment towards the child support arrears, pay the payee’s attorney’s fees if he/she hired an attorney for the contempt proceeding, or worse.

So what SHOULD you do you do if you have a sudden loss of income and can no longer afford to pay your child support obligation? You must immediately file a petition for modification of the child support order in the county your child support order is through, and schedule a conference/hearing date to determine whether the support should be reduced. That way if domestic relations does schedule a contempt proceeding, the contempt and modification proceedings can probably be heard together, and you will be able to produce evidence of your reduced income, request that your support be lowered all the way back to the date you filed, and greatly help your chances of not being held in contempt for failure to pay child support.

Of course, it is not guaranteed that child support will be lowered because you lost your job, such as if you quit on purpose or were fired for cause. Anyone who finds them in this situation should seek the advice of a competent family law attorney immediately so they can be advised according to their particular circumstances.